Apr 30

Coffinated

You know, vampires sleeping in coffins is a brilliant idea. Ever been inside a coffin? It’s very quiet in there. That might be something I need to start doing since I cannot tolerate noise while sleeping. I sleep very lightly and a mite landing on a gnat’s butt wakes me up.

Since vampires are supposed to have super-sensitive hearing, perhaps they sleep in coffins to avoid the cacophony of the rest of the world rather than to dodge UV rays.

Apr 30

Crime de la Crime

Company at heart of 97,000% drug price hike bribed doctors to boost sales.

As I noted, the entirety of the US medical establishment is a criminal enterprise.

Please observe that this doesn’t make every single medical professional a criminal, but does mean that the entire enterprise itself is a criminal one. If you are not capable of nuance, think of it this way: not everyone at Enron was a criminal, but the entire enterprise was a thoroughly-corrupt racket. The same is true of what passes for medical care in the US.

Apr 29

Whop Whop

Burger King will sell meatless burgers, but they’ll cost even more than regular Whoppers.

Told you so. This is a huge boon for companies now that the propaganda is starting to work. They can peddle an inferior product at inflated prices while greenwashing themselves so hard that they emit viridescent Cherenkov radiation*.

The future of fast food is plant-based. Nationwide fast-food restaurants are pivoting to vegetarian-friendly menu items.

Bet you that above was taken straight from a corporate press release. This is almost as brilliant as the neoliberals declaring any resistance to globalism to be “racism.” If I were a diabolical cackling evil genius, I’d commend both of them for their sagacity and cunning. As it is, though, I am just a tad too clued-in to eat their flavorless fare for fat fees. This is the smartphone of food.

*Green Cherenkov radiation is always present, actually, but due to the peculiarities of the human eye peaking at green, we perceive the admixed radiation as blue.

Apr 29

Unch

I want to punch Nazis and liberals who want to ban single-use plastics. I know those drooling libs don’t deserve it nearly as much, but they are just about as stupid in their own way and surely deserve some face-punchage.

Apr 29

Ibam

Obama was the Hannibal Lecter of presidents: refined, elegant, in control but a murdering, scheming sociopath not that far behind the scenes.

It worked a treat, though, as most people care more about decorum and presentation than results and reality. So far, Trump has not done even 1/10 the harmful things Obama did. Sure, it likely is that he’s not competent enough to do so but what does matter is results, after all.

Apr 28

The Con

This is the con, essentially.

Sleek neoliberal bastards who eagerly spout diversity slogans have convinced us that the true threat to everything good is some pickup-truck driving Uncle Ted in a MAGA hat. We donate tons of free labor to enrich the sleek bastards in return for the chance to rubbish Uncle Ted online. In the meantime, the sleek bastards are robbing both us and Uncle Ted and repeating “Nazis, Nazis, Nazis everywhere” to keep us at each other’s throats.

Large corporations in combination with monopoly, oligopoly, and crony capitalism (assisted by a generous side helping of inequality) are the true factors vitiating the health of the country and our society. The above-mentioned factors require an unimaginably vast and comprehensive propaganda and surveillance apparatus to preserve, so here’s a fact: most of what you think, believe, understand, is corporate-mediated and essentially corporate-controlled. This is true of everyone, because there is almost no viable alternative.

Believing some white dude in a red hat making 40K a year is in control of any damn thing is daft to the extreme, just as certainly as believing any immigrant is by nature a dangerous terrorist-in-waiting. These are narratives of subjection and domination and the left is just as enmeshed in them as the right, even if they are “kinder” about it all.

Apr 28

Not In the Refrigerator

The Leftovers was so deliriously good. And Nora Durst is the only character from a TV show I’ve ever actually missed when not watching the show itself.

That Nora Durst is not a real person is just wrong, somehow.

Apr 27

Stethoscope

It’s a strange paradox of life that your reputation is often better the more you don’t care what other people think of you, and the more you can afford to not be concerned. When you’re striving and struggling for every crumb, they are hard indeed to wangle but when you don’t need them or want them, they arrive in droves.

Apr 26

Oar Not

I’d rather smack myself in the face repeatedly with a boat oar than live in a tiny house.

Apr 26

HN

I think a 25 hour workweek is ideal for productivity. Beyond that, companies should be taxed for any worker they require beyond that time. Say, a flat tax of $10,000 for every 10 worker-hours beyond that maximum.

Most people’s productivity dives precipitously after 4-5 hours. That’s just human nature. And forty hours a week is really too enervating and time-consuming.