Ego

John Scalzi said something very insightful today.

But if you understand yourself and you can assess yourself well, then ego can be a good way to backstop yourself when others are pummeling you with negativity, or when you feel uncertain or unsure. I think it’s good to have an ego, if you know yourself and your talents.

Ego is what allowed me to survive my experiences in North Florida. The entire time that all those people — including many in my own family — were telling me how terrible and worthless I was, I knew it just wasn’t true. Every time I bowed to them, was beat down by them, I knew one day I’d rise above them and leave them so far behind that if they ever thought about me at all it’d be to wonder why a loser like me could’ve done so much better than they did.

That’s exactly what I did, too. And it was because of ego. I knew what I was good at. I knew how good at my various talents and abilities I was (very). And I knew that if I lived, one day I’d use those talents to be a far better version of a person and of myself than they could even imagine.

Thank you, ego, for helping me live through those terrible years.