Oct 25

Parker

This was my response to a woman at work asking me via email if I planned on coming to my company’s trivia night:

“At first I looked at the invitation quizzically as I usually don’t concern myself with trivial pursuits, but so as not to put my reputation in Jeopardy, I then asked myself the $64,000 question and decided that if I did well then my renown as a font of all irrelevant knowledge might daily double and so phrasing my answer in the form of a question, I was forced to ask myself, what would Alex Trebek do?

My brain bowled over and my head rang like a buzzer as if a family feud were going on in my skull, or perhaps that was just Regis Philbin being attacked by an enraged badger, but I did not need to ask the audience or phone a friend to know that though I do want to be a millionaire, it’s not likely to happen at company trivia night.

Though I will be there, and plan to press my luck.”

Oct 24

Ain’t no way

Every time I feel the temptation to break my new eating habits, even a little, I remember how unpleasant it was to be fat.

Pretty easy then to say no to that eggnog in the fridge.

Oct 24

Simulacrum

Most things we’d see now as advances won’t be needed when it becomes easier to transport reality around.

There are two paths to shaping the universe. One is to go out and seize it, and bend it to the will of intelligence.

The other is to create a universe and then live there. We’ll do the latter, as I suspect most intelligent species do if they don’t destroy themselves — which is the other possibility of our species.

That wraps up the Drake Equation nicely.

There is after all no meaningful distinction between simulation and reality if the simulation is robust enough.

Oct 24

Kissed

I don’t really give a shit about two women kissing either way, but the expression on the faces of the anti-gay protesters in the background is great and makes the photo.

Vz11Y

Perhaps it’s just projection, but many of them look disgusted and envious at the same time.

Also, the two kissing have enormous bags.

Oct 24

Harping on it

Why didn’t someone tell me before that there were electric harps? Very cool, but I’d rather see them when they are actually playing the piece, not just miming playing something they’ve already recorded. (I mean, they are really playing it even in the video, obviously, but we are only hearing the audio they’ve already recorded in studio.)

Oct 23

It’s a pirate’s life for me

Why you should pirate absolutely everything.

Contrary to this story, it’s not clear that Amazon actually wiped her Kindle (it might have been broken) – however, they did delete her account and left her with no recourse, and no books.

You know what? Pirates don’t have to put up with this shit. Ever.

The only sane, rational choice until companies stop being so asinine is to pirate everything, all the time.

Why would you ever do anything else?

Oct 23

Lance it

I guess writing about it indicates that I care a little, but Lance Armstrong losing his Tour de France titles? Who gives a crap.

Everyone who has won that race in the last 35 years has probably been on some form of drug or another. At that level of competition, when everyone else is already doping, it is the only way to win.

That does not justify or excuse it. It’s just reality.

Oct 21

Unfucking 8

If you are interested in using Windows 8 but want to unfuck it, there are many methods.

I will stick with Windows 7 until Windows 9 or 10, and then see where Microsoft stands.

I would use Linux, but the fonts are too terrible. If high-res large LCDs come out in the meantime, this will become a non-issue.

But for now, Windows 7 for me.

Oct 18

Res

What a load of mendacious bullshit from Microsoft.

Not only is the Surface tablet cursed with Windows 8, its display has the resolution of a broken Etch-a-Sketch.

Microsoft claims that users can’t tell the difference. And I think of some people – perhaps even the majority – that is actually true. I am constantly amazed by how unaware of brain-shatteringly low resolution and eye-terrorizing fonts most people can be.

I remember walking into an acquisition only a few years ago where people were still using CRT monitors from the mid-90s that had aged so poorly that I literally could not read their screens, and they barely noticed. We’re not talking here about the fonts just being unpleasant but readable. From normal viewing distance, the screens were so blurry that I had absolutely no idea what more than 50% of the words on the screen were – but they were so used to the bespoke system, they didn’t really need to read much.

These people are the Surface tablet’s ideal market, I guess.

For me, I could no more use the Surface tablet than I’d go back to a mid-90s Packard Bell cheapo CRT.

1366*768? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

When the Nexus 10 with 2560*1600 comes out, I’ll have to think about that. That should be gorgeous.

Oct 18

Bad idea trap

This will be completely useless, and as one of the commenters points out, instead of preventing piracy it will just make Jane Consumer smarter about proxies, VPNs and the like.

Funny it’s easier in the minds of the entertainment industry to waste so much money on something so useless that is so easily circumventable and which will make piracy effectively worse and more difficult to stop, rather than just giving people the content they want when they want it.

Best thing they could do is buy The Pirate Bay, improve it a bit (parts of it are quite clunky) and charge people $30 a month for it. Which is the same thing the music industry should’ve done with the original Napster.

I would sign up for that so fast, even at $50 a month. Millions more would, too. And the entertainment execs would be rolling around in piles of $100 bills.

But no. And it amazes me that people like Matt Maroon can argue that what the entertainment industry does is rational. This only make sense if you believe that there are no other possible business models they could pursue that are less risky than what they are doing now.

But that’s really dead wrong. The most risky business model is their current one, as it is doomed to failure.

Most people can only conceive of the world as it is, though, and not as it could be, and soon will be.