Burger King will sell meatless burgers, but they’ll cost even more than regular Whoppers.

Told you so. This is a huge boon for companies now that the propaganda is starting to work. They can peddle an inferior product at inflated prices while greenwashing themselves so hard that they emit viridescent Cherenkov radiation*.

The future of fast food is plant-based. Nationwide fast-food restaurants are pivoting to vegetarian-friendly menu items.

Bet you that above was taken straight from a corporate press release. This is almost as brilliant as the neoliberals declaring any resistance to globalism to be “racism.” If I were a diabolical cackling evil genius, I’d commend both of them for their sagacity and cunning. As it is, though, I am just a tad too clued-in to eat their flavorless fare for fat fees. This is the smartphone of food.

*Green Cherenkov radiation is always present, actually, but due to the peculiarities of the human eye peaking at green, we perceive the admixed radiation as blue.