Not fitting

I think the main reason despite having decent social skills that I have trouble fitting into human social groups is that most people are primarily concerned with what others think of them, while I am mostly concerned with what I think of myself.

That sounds solipsistic, but I just mean that I base my ethical and moral axioms less from my social milieu and more from at least what I perceive as higher principles and more-reliable precepts.

Of course, no one can be completely unconcerned with what others think. Not if they want to live in a society of any type. But just saying that my priorities are reversed from the norm.

And it means that if everyone claims the sky is purple when it is in fact blue, I will be ostracized because I will invariably say, “That looks blue to me, ya’ll.”

I know because it happens. And I know it’s going to happen, and I can’t help myself. It’s not that I like being right. That really, truly doesn’t matter to me. What I don’t like is being a moron because everyone else has decided to be one as at the moment it’s the socially accepted way to be.

There will always be this distance, I think. It is an indelible part of who I am, and has been as long as I can remember.