I remember in high school my biology teacher got fed up with me because I insisted on calling Charles Darwin and his contemporaries, “Chuck D and the Beagle-y Boys.” God, I was annoying. But funny. But still annoying.

(It was strange that my high school even taught an evolution unit considering at least half the teachers and 80% of the student body didn’t believe in it. A state requirement, though, at the time.)

5K is the way and the light

I couldn’t be happier with my new 5K iMac. It’s faster, quieter, more capable and just overall better than the late 2014 model.

But the new MacBooks sound like utter pieces of garbage.

First, no escape key and a useless touch bar. Then, like the iPhone, dongle hell. Now, a keyboard that a single piece of dust can destroy.

My next laptop will definitely not be made by Apple, unfortunately. I need more than one or two goddamn ports, and I definitely do not need a keyboard that a single piece of dust can destroy.

Have you noticed that we live on a pretty dusty planet?

Not Diana

I love it that every time someone has told me I shouldn’t invest in Amazon, I’ve made over 400% on that stock.

God I love other people’s advice. So good. If I do the exactly opposite.

To quote Dev09, “If I followed your advice, I’d be where you’re at.”

Not imPeachy

Do not impeach Trump. Just don’t do it. If you hate women, I guess, go ahead.

Do you not understand, impeachment virtue signalers, that if you impeach Trump, Pence is in like mortal sin? He’s a Christian nut bar and he despises women in ways Trump doesn’t even dream about.

Impeaching Trump is a terrible idea. Just don’t.

Catalonia out of the bag

I can’t bring myself to give a single crap about Catalonia’s independence movement. Admittedly, I know very little about it and wish I knew less than I do.

To me, it seems a modern expression of neoliberal-infused identity politics and consumer “choice” as an expression of those politics.

I could be wrong, but I also don’t care.

Wein and don’t dine

What the hell is the deal with Harvey Weinstein wanting to shower in front of women? Is that some fetish I just wasn’t aware of?

That man is a damn creep circus. He makes regular creeps look like Ned Flanders. He’s so creepy that when Radiohead’s first big hit comes on the radio the DJ just calls it “Harvey.” If Jeffrey Dahmer were still alive, about Weinstein he’d be like, “Home slice is all kinds of fucked up.” Harvey Weinstein is like the exaggerated example of creepiness you bring up in front of the campfire to scare kids.

But he’s real. And he likes to shower in front of unwilling women for unknown reasons.


What working out can do for you:

Alicia Vikander’s traps are unbelievable, as Casey Johnston noticed. She looks like a sculpture.

Here’s the same actress’s traps in Ex Machina (they basically don’t exist in any noticeable form):

Good fucking job, AV. I know exactly how much work that takes. And Caleb probably wouldn’t like you anymore, looking all swole like that. So, win!

Form by mor

It’s disappointing how hobbled Firefox 57 is. Anything I want or need to do is basically just impossible. Tasks that used to take me less than a second now take 30-45 seconds. Sometimes up to 10 minutes in extreme cases.

It’s a browser for morons, by morons.

Standing under

A former friend of mine argued that you didn’t actually understand something until you could work it out mathematically.

Then he’d get angry that I could accurately reason about what would happen in complicated relativity problems intuitively, without doing any math, and that he couldn’t do this.

Sorry, buddy, you know the equation. But I know what the equation means.