I don’t need to be drunk to do this.

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, “Oh my god, I know I know you but I don’t know where from.” Looking annoyed, she replied, “We’ve worked together for months.”

One time my friend Mary from the 90s was shopping in Wal-Mart in Lake City, my hometown. Except I did not know this, and as I was walking near the front of the store myself I saw some woman waving in my direction and proceeded as I usually do to pay no attention to her waving as what did that have to do with me?

I thought, “Wow, she’s pretty. I wonder who she is waving at? Huh, whatever” and then just ignored her.

Then I walked a few more feet sort of perpendicular to where she was and didn’t think another thought about it until I heard behind me, “Mike. Mike. Mike.” I turned around. It was Mary, of course, and she was smiling. Luckily for me. She said, “Just going to ignore me, huh, that’s how cool you are? Can’t be seen with me in public?”

I said, “Well, pretty girls don’t usually wave at me randomly in Wal-Mart.”

“This one does,” she said.

“Yep, this one does,” I replied.

Note that we were not acquaintances. We were close friends. I had even watched her kids for her a few times. (Brats, but funny, calm ones.) There weren’t many people I knew better in the world at that time. But in the store I did not recognize her at all. Not even a little bit.

It was good we met, though. She’d gotten off work early and we went to the river and hung out the rest of the day. Things were harder to arrange but a little freer in the time before ubiquitous smartphones.