— VB Knives (@Empty_America) November 5, 2026
Jeb JEB Jebby Jebarino, The Jebinator, Captain Jebbington, Jeb the Magnificent!
Vote for Jeb in 2028! Twice if you can, three times if you’re brave!
Trynabe Funny
Tom
A mysterious woodland being with a water nymph for a wife who won’t help you with the One Ring.
Bombadil issue.
I’ll Race You
I’m racist against races that don’t even exist yet.
Gobs
I really do need that jet.
Gimme my Gulfie.
HP
I want to start an erotic literature company for women called HornPub.
Applied It
In line with recent “feminist” declarations that they are able to revoke freely-made decisions retroactively, I hereby retract my decision to buy Applied Materials stock in 1999, on which I lost about $20,000.
In retrospect, I did not consent to buying that stock. I would not have done so had I known the outcome in advance. Someone owes me $40,000 (number inclusive of inflation). Whoever allowed this violated my consent by not making this stock purchase go exactly as I expected it to.
Jarred
What if we only created AI so we could insert Jar-Jar Binks into every movie and TV show ever made?
I can think of no higher nor better use.
CRISPR Time
We already have caterpillars. We should create some dogerpillars.
Best Press
I bought a “The Best of Rush” album and it was blank. Nothing on it. The same with my “Best of Nickelback” album. Totally empty.
Something must be going on at the CD pressing place.
Doppel You
The worst part of time traveling is occasionally having to kill other copies of yourself.
It really puts a damper on things.
Dogged
We say, “Working like a dog,” but not very many dogs have actual jobs. Some do, but comparatively few.
Someone should look into that.
DFC
The first rule of Daycare Fight Club is you have to give the kids some weighted gloves as they can’t hit very hard with those tiny little fists.
They’re a Hit
It is pretty amazing that America is such a non-racist nation that we have Hitlers of like 10 different ethnicities.
That’s a real achievement.
Oing
Making everyone angry by pronouncing “doing” like “boing.”