They really should have changed the name of “asbestos” to “asworstos.”

Do you think there are still human Experiments going on?

All I know is that that there are certainly none going on in my basement involving CRISPR, a giraffe, Salma Hayek, lasers, 67 mindless clones of Gary Busey and a green roto-tiller. So there’s no need to check. Like at all.

Men, what is a useful item you need on a daily basis?

Space laser with fusion rockets so I am not as constrained by orbital mechanics.

Dang, I spend a lot of money at work. Wonder if I can slide a Maserati or Ferrari in that spending somewhere (kidding, kidding…also, vroom vroom).

Things to say while having sex?

“Have you ever thought about what would happen if a million chihuahuas fought a million ducks? And the ducks had tiny missiles launchers on their backs?”

I hate being judged for short stints as if it was MY fault or I left for the hell of it.

It shows you’re unlucky. And WE WOULDN’T WANT TO HIRE SOMEONE UNLUCKY, NOW WOULD WE?!?!?!?

It’s probably better that I did not have kids. Because if I’d had a boy, I would’ve named him “Ptoughneigh.” That’s “Tony” to normies.

And if a girl, I would’ve named her “Moniker.” I’d tell people that it was the name of her name, which is also “Moniker.” Her middle name, of course, would be “Appellation.”

My kids would certainly have loved me. I can feel it.

Your eye makes a clicking sound when you blink. Is that normal?

There are various ways people have found out that they’re actually robots over the years. Sometimes it’s subtle, like this, and sometimes it’s more dramatic, like being injured in a car accident.

It’s never any less surprising, though.

Why AI Models Are Collapsing And What It Means For The Future Of Technology.

Back in my day, “model collapse” was what we called it when Kate Moss took too much heroin.

shakes fist at cloud menacingly

What kind of respectable dinosaur would be named “Barney?” That’s something you’d name a mule or a particularly dull goat. No, my friends, any reputable dinosaur would be called “Fleshripper” or “Thunder of the North” or something like that. It just makes sense.