The culture is more overall sex-negative and sex-phobic in general than any time since perhaps the 1740s. I mean in practical terms and observed behavior, rather than “I saw someone in revealing clothing on TV, therefore people are sex-positive.” That’s a wholly different thing (and is dumbass logic to boot).
Sex
Pas trois pour moi
Women are surprised that a threesome is in no way a fantasy of mine.
I’m just not that social. I can concentrate on one person and that’s about it.
Ero Tick the Box
People who were not there in the 90s get it very wrong about what was different then. It’s not just that we were having more sex then (we were). It’s that the whole approach to everything around sex, eroticism and intimacy was completely different then. And, again, that is what people miss, this crucial constellation of facts: Back then, we all treated sex as something that was just part of life. It wasn’t some scary partitioned-off bit of the wold; it was considered completely natural for women to be attracted to men and vice versa, and to express that in various ways. Nothing about it was perceived in any way as bad, unusual, or even awkward.
This makes for an utterly different life and far better (and happier!) gender relations. A man was not considered evil then for finding someone attractive. And two people were not punished by their own friends if they liked each other enough to have sex. It was just assumed as a thing that happened, that humans like each other and express it physically. It was seen more like breathing or eating food than what it’s seen as now, which is something that only strange and flawed people do.
Gen Z’s neo-morality is horrid, horrifying, and anti-human.
V Bad
What is your experience with the sexual abilities of the average woman?
Most women are very bad at sex.
Because they don’t have to be any good. For too many guys, a woman just showing up is enough. So they never improve and are just boring lumps before, during, and after.
I’ve helped a few women — long ago now — get a lot better at sex. So, for whoever those women ended up with, you can thank me! Heh.
Workspace
So little that men or women do that is intended to be sexy actually achieves that aim. In our current culture, both genders view sexiness as something imposed or even inflicted on you, rather than something created with a shared experience in mind.
Sexiness as a consumption item, then, almost never works. A force-fed meal is not enjoyable, and by the same token neither is OnlyFans-style compensation-based generic libido on demand. Stasi vs. McDonald’s is not much of a basis for a cultural erotic imagination.
Real sexiness requires centering the other person and their awareness, their desire, and not conceiving of yourself nor them as a consumption unit or subscriber. It is not about impressing them, but rather asking together, “What kind of encounter am I making possible?” Since Gen Z is incapable of this kind of thought at all, they are hopelessly lost, with no chance at all of a revival of the concupiscent.
Which is sad. However, without a focus on the shared experience and willingness to yourself be changed by the response, even in private life “sexiness” just becomes another mode of stale content production aimed at a partner for which you are just as interchangeable as the next OnlyFans model on their phone screen.
Volte
About the ancient, “Men only want one thing and it’s disgusting” tweet from ages ago, I never figured out why sex was supposed to be disgusting in the first place. Or is the disgusting part that men only want one thing? Not sure how that should trigger disgust either, frankly, in several different senses.
Anyway, any woman who believes that just needs to think (as it’s what’s actually occurring): “Men only want one thing from me because I am boring and have nothing else to offer, and that’s pretty disgusting.”
Sad but true.
Sex Shift
It’s insane how horny the nineties were, I don’t think the Zoomer mind can comprehend this. https://t.co/H3S40HivpP
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) September 16, 2025
Back then, we (both men and women) treated sex/sexuality as a standard and expected part of normal life. It wasn’t “special” in the sense that it was not something outside of the regular practice of living. Nowadays, on the other hand, Gen Z treats anything to do with sex and sexuality — especially in person — as some exceptional, outré, “out there” activity that should not be discussed, seen, alluded to or partaken of except in rare circumstances.
I cannot stress enough the difference in culture and ethos as compared to now. Feels like a wholly different world. I cannot believe how laid back we were then compared to all the weird and pitiful Church Ladies around now.
Gay people got more freedom, but everyone else got far less.
Linger
What’s something that is generally considered “sexy” that you don’t like at all?
Lingerie.
It’s not attractive to me in any way. I don’t care about it, don’t find it sexy no matter how hot the woman wearing it is, am not interested in it, and it does nothing at all for me.
Nudity is always better in any sexual context.
Let’s Talk About
There's this generally very female brained conception of sex as a low order, primitive, animalistic drive that as enlightened humans, we ought to discount as basic and beneath us rather than good and beautiful. The "men are dogs" trope. No, men aren't dogs, men have been given… https://t.co/52zQGboeC2
— LIZZY💥 (@LizzyStarrrdust) August 12, 2025
And a lot of women actually like sex too. Trust me on that.
But I think a lot of this discourse lately is from women (and some men) who do not actually enjoy sex and are disgusted by it. Which, to be fair, is increasingly common, especially in Gen Z. And a lot of those women who do abhor sex are feminists. There’s probably a connection there.
Regardless, anyone who sees men’s sexuality as default evil and deviant is my enemy.
Sense and Sensitivity
What’s some crazy facts about men/the male body that women wouldn’t know?
Men’s penises are not nearly as sensitive as women imagine them to be. Almost every woman I’ve ever met severely, absurdly overestimates the “resolution” of sensitivity there.
They imagine the penis is like a fingertip. It’s more like the back of your calf, but even less sensitive than that. Yes, it can and does experience pleasure but there’s no “resolution” to it. So, no, often we cannot tell when the condom comes off during sex. Not without looking.
Hell, with a woman who’s turned on enough sometimes I can’t even tell if I’m inside her or not. And I’ve got more than average going on down there.
Why do women have such insane ideas about penis “resolution” sensitivity? I can’t even hazard a guess as to that one.
Amuse and Confuse
It’s pretty telling — and revealing of our evolutionary and cultural history — how very much time and effort people and groups spend attempting to police who should be allowed to have sex with whom.
Mostly, I just stand back and observe, amused and confused. Of course no one admits that’s what they are doing. But it is what you’re all doing.
Bid
How long have you gone without *wanting sex?
About a year. After a horrendous breakup with a horrible narcissist, I had zero libido. I am talking about nothing. No attraction to anyone, no feelings down there at all. I honestly thought my sex drive was gone forever. And I did miss it.
But it gradually returned.
Pants Chance
Woman Friend of mine: I like that you’re my friend and visit me even though there’s no chance we’d ever have sex.
Me: No chance?
Friend: Why, are you interested?
Me: No. Sex is a lot of work at the best of times and I’m tired. I just wanna chill, really.
Friend: Then why do you care if there’s a chance or not?
Me: I like optionality! I don’t want to rule anything out.
Woman: Ok. There’s a trillionth of a trillionth percent chance.
Me: Ok, much better!
(This wasn’t confrontational. We’ve known each other quite a while and we were both joking around in a much longer conversation about how men and women relate and misunderstand one another.)
Lady Look
Agreed. Other than being about attempted control, I think this is why so many women resort to the “YOU ONLY WANT SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111” nonsense after you go on a couple of dates and then make any mention at all of what the next steps of dating might look like.
Look, lady, if I only wanted sex I wouldn’t be traditional dating and I also need to know that you’re not way more freaky than I’m comfortable with or want to participate in. I ain’t choking anybody or peeing on anybody, sorry. And that’s important information to have.
Sorry about your past trauma. However, you can deal with it alone if you want to take out on me whatever it was that some other dude did.
Goodness
Men of Reddit, How has intimacy with older women at a young age impacted you?
It was a great experience and I wish I’d been able to be with older women at an even younger age. I learned a lot about how better to interact with women, got vastly more skilled at sex, had an amazing time otherwise and highly recommend it to all men.
In general something is only traumatizing because society brainwashes you into believing it’s so, and men are not women.
It made me a better person, lover and friend. Again, highly recommended.