I know it seems I’m on an anti-Windows 8 crusade, and in a way I am. The app store model is a threat to open computing, and the interface is just absolutely abysmal.

In a way, it’s more personal than that. Windows 7 is a great OS for getting work done. It’s fast, stable, and multi-tasks like a dream. Windows are resizable and if I want to – which I very, very often do –  I can see more than one thing at a time.

I don’t want to be forced in the future to use a single-tasking always-full-screen OS where I am as fucking slow as everyone else. Because I work quickly and I assimilate a lot of information at once, a real multi-tasking OS makes me so much faster than other people.

Windows 8 would Harrison Bergeron my ass right quick.

Windows 8 or any Windows 8-like OS would be the equivalent of tying two five-pound bricks to my ankles and asking me to compete in a marathon.

Uh-uh. Not. Gonna. Do it.

Windows 8 is so very shitty.

One of the worst aspects of Windows 8 for power users is that the product’s very name has become a misnomer. "Windows" no longer supports multiple windows on the screen. Win8 does have an option to temporarily show a second area in a small part of the screen, but none of our test users were able to make this work. Also, the main UI restricts users to a single window, so the product ought to be renamed "Microsoft Window."

That reads like an Onion article, but alas what is written there is true.

Windows 8 isn’t even good enough for me to use recreationally, much less for getting any work done.