Ah, someone else from my benighted past!

A burglar? Never saw him as a burglar. Maybe a rapist, as he was très creepy, but not a burglar.

And found another one.

This guy was a terrible, terrible bully. I beat the absolute crap out of him on the playground one day after he pushed me a little too far. I made him eat dirt. Another day in the principal’s office – nothing unusual there.

Ah, the memories.

And another! Wow. The last time I saw this dude, he was like five years old.

I grew up in a classy place, yes?

This is just terrible advice.

One area where I partially side with some of conservatism is that I don’t believe in the “feel good” mantras parroted by people like this.

“Sure, just eat whatever you want, it’ll be ok.”

Fuck. That. Noise.

That’s how I hit 200 pounds as a 5’ 8” guy with a small frame.

Even then if I hadn’t already been exercising some restraint, I would’ve been more like 300 pounds.

So, yeah, eat whatever you like and spend the last 20 years of your life with diabetes-caused necrosis as your feet rot off in a hospital.

Sounds like a good fucking plan.

Tell you what: you do that, and I’ll do the other thing.