I’ve been a feminist supporter as long as I can remember, even before I knew the word “feminism.”
I’ve confronted street harassers in real life, and will do so again. I’ve gotten in physical fights about this and will probably do so again.
I’ve donated money to causes that help women and equality and will donate more in my life.
I’ve fired creepy dudes at work for harassing female employees, and will probably do so again.
Yet I am not really a member of the feminist community because I am just not good at ideology, though I’ve read more on feminism than even many feminists (This is true on about any subject as I read a lot. A ridiculous lot. If you think you read more than me, you are almost certainly wrong*). This not being good at ideology is why I am not really a member of any community. I can’t seem to drink anyone’s Kool-Aid.
Don’t like the taste. Can’t stand the mental dying.
I like to examine everything, turn it around in my head, figure it out and see its strengths as well as its weak spots.
Seeing the “weak spots” is what gets me into trouble, of course. Can’t mention that. Can’t even point that direction.
Note that I am not picking on the feminist community here. It’s not unique in this respect, not better or worse than any other, just one that I happen to feel a lot of kinship with so it’s easier to see its flaws than a community I hardly know nor care about.
As a sociological experiment once I posted nearly exactly the same comment on several different feminist sites – the comment was strongly feminist, and completely on topic.
If I posted under a very-obviously female name, my comment always, without fail, was greeted positively and with warmth and many responses. If I posted under a male name, a comment with the same content (I actually softened the tone a little) was generally attacked, ignored or outright deleted.
Note that I was expecting this, and it was cruel, so I never identified any of these sites on my blog. And never will. It doesn’t prove anything. It proves that feminists are human is all.
And it proves how distant I am from most humanity, a true Alien.
I’m a member of no community and probably never will be. I’m not proud of it or upset by it; it just is.
Fortunately I don’t need anyone’s approval to do the right thing, nor will anyone’s threats or disapproval make me do the wrong one. Kicking me out of a community doesn’t change my opinions of it in the least. Hell, I’d probably kick myself out. I’m a prickly, difficult fucker who likes to ask too many questions that no one can or wants to answer.
I will always support feminism and its aims because it is the right thing to do, even if its community members are as human and as flawed as anyone else.
I guess my position in any community will be at the periphery, the Crazy Uncle (or Aunt, as you like) who yells things towards the fire that occasionally someone listens to and realizes is right. And then they become like me, and everyone distances themselves from her as well.
*And if you do read more than me, please tell me your secret.