Why America Is So Obsessed with Florida.

As a native Floridian, I can tell you that Florida really is just as bizarre as the stories coming out of the state portray it as being. In fact, more so. Because a lot of crazy stuff happens in which the police are never involved so they never make the news.

To quote a former friend of mine (who was a bit too Florida for me): “Most places, a pair of identical twin girls asking to drink your blood while you take pictures of them having sex would be unusual. In Florida, it’s just Tuesday.*”

*Yes, this really happened. I knew those girls personally and yes they were, uh, “friendly.” And thought they were vampires.

Sorry for the bad audio and potato video, but what a great song. And the guitar playing. Damn. What a hell of a duo Tanya and Kristin were. Any justice in the world, and they’d be as well-known as Robert Plant and Jimmy Page (because they are just as good).

If you are given a choice, you believe you have acted freely.

-Raymond Teller

I’m not in shape at all in any way and yet due to the plague of obesity I’m seen as some sort of elite athlete at work because I do things like go on 10 mile hikes with no prior training and climb up (really small) mountains.

Basically anything any non-disabled human should…just be able to do is now some remarkable feat.

I’ve seen also an increasing number of pieces lately where people just take obesity as something handed down by providence, completely unchangeable. I can’t understand this at all especially with how harmful it is and how miserable it makes one (what I care about the most personally).

But yes, I am an elite athlete because I can walk to my damn car without passing out.

In the near future, our superheroes will be those who can merely stand up unassisted.