I’m an Islamophobe because I’ve lived in an Islamic country and I’m a fundamentalist Christian-ophobe because I grew up in rural North Florida.

Both make complete sense once you’ve experienced both or either.

If I ever get the idea that I should purchase a home anywhere with an HOA, someone please tase me in the face until I become less of a moron.

I don’t yet have a unified theory of HOAs, but it seems like another haven — much like the police force — where bullies from middle and high school congregate in adulthood.

Never will I buy where there is an HOA. Never.

The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China.

I have found the most boring book on Amazon.