Sleepy

Sleep is a very individual thing.

Not only is adequate quality sleep necessary, people have different daily (โ€œcircadianโ€) rhythms โ€“ some people are most alert in the morning, others mid-day, and still others in the evening. Further, this does not seem to be due entirely to habits, and therefore we cannot just tell night owls to go to bed earlier.

I’ve had dim dumb dipshit motherfuckers tell me my whole life that my (admittedly, very unusual) sleep patterns are “unnatural.” Yet, when I try to adapt to a “normal” sleep pattern, even after months and months, I am tired literally every waking minute, my IQ is much lower, and I am irritable and grumpy all the time (well, grumpier). Sleeping normal hours, I also make far more mistakes at work, which is of course terrible for one’s career.

The biggest conflict in one relationship of mine was that I slept “too much.” I didn’t actually sleep too much, I just slept at hours my then girlfriend did not like. Of course it didn’t help, but to prove a point I began keeping track my sleep times and hers. I slept an average of 4.5 hours a day; she slept 9.5 a day.

I’m so angry about this because it gets very tiresome when something that is completely natural to you gets branded as horrible and unnatural your entire life. My parents tried to fix my sleep habits. Failed. The army tried. Failed. Partners have tried. Failed.

Ain’t gonna happen, in other words.

Muse Ick

Why the music we love as teens stays with us for life.

Speak for yourself. I now don’t like or find the music mostly unlistenable that I enjoyed as a teenager. For instance, my favorite song in 1992 was probably “Alive” by Pearl Jam. I can’t listen to that song at all anymore and it has no nostalgic memories for me either way.

Sure, there are exceptions, like Tori Amos and Mazzy Star and a few others, but for the most part, I don’t listen to much of the music I did as a teenager, and to the extent that I do, I don’t listen to it often and I wouldn’t count any of my favorite songs from then as favorites now.

My 10 favorite songs at the moment:

1) Saint Claude – Christine and the Queens

2) Biscuits – Kacey Musgraves

3) Lo Boob Oscillator – Stereolab

4) Walk With Me – Lisa Mitchell

5) Boom Clap – Charli XCX

6) Planets – Kate Rusby

7) 100 Black Coffins – Rick Ross

8) Tennis Court – Lorde

9) Sarah – Kate Miller-Heidke

10) Bodaich Odhar Hoghaigearraidh – Julie Fowlis

Not much that is very old on that list, which is typical of me. I get tired of songs and never want to hear them again — or at least not for a very long time.

Trauma

One of the things you’re witnessing in the Parkland students with their resilience to NRA/conservative harassment and calumny is that after trauma you tend to just not give a fuck.

I was never in combat, but after being in the army and seeing friends and colleagues injured and killed on drop zones and in the course of duty, how much do you think some incompetent boss really stresses me out? I’ve had a gun pulled on me in my own front yard. My own mother tried to stab me. Having some arrogant pharmacist pester me or some blog troll harass me is a break from the other lives I’ve experienced.

This isn’t quite “nothing left to lose” in me or those kids. After all, they’ve got everything left to lose — their entire futures not lived yet.

After trauma though, you experience a certain sort of calm. At least, many people do. It’s the serenity of knowing that you’ve been through so much worse and this is literally nothing. It’s a very freeing feeling, but goddamn do you have to get there the hard way.

I do not recommend it to anyone, but I feel it in my self and I see it in those kids from Parkland. They arrived at calm via the most difficult path and I can see it in their eyes when they stare out at the crowds.

Pa’lante

Yeah, “Wow” sums up that performance. (“Pa’lante” is Puerto Rican slang that means something like “forward.” It’s a contraction of “para adelante.”) We live in an age where we are supposed to be dispassionate. Reasonable. It helps neoliberalism persist is why disengagement is so emphasized. She negates all that with her performance. It is why art is important, why it is suppressed, why FOSTA exists.

The Fish Says “What’s Water?”

Does the average left/liberal plebeian even realize that their beliefs have been thoroughly and completely highjacked by neoliberal thought structures? Does it even occur to them?

Equating of racism with not wanting liquid capital to destroy your country? There’s one. Believing that it’s just simply absurd to discuss things like single-payer or universal health care? There’s another.

It’s so pervasive I think they just can’t see it. It’s difficult to talk to people nominally on my side because the vast majority have no considered view, just some talking points they heard somewhere that are just as valueless as whatever the alt-right believes — valueless because they are based equally on repeating mantras and rhetorical formulas.

I’m not casting myself as some exemplar of reason and comprehension. But damn, at least I know there is water.

Daniels

The Stormy Daniels case is utterly irrelevant to anything and is the kind of trivia those in power always wish you to focus on rather than any real issues. It’s the perfect liberal bait, too. I feel bad even devoting even these 20 seconds to it, but there you go.

Throw

“I just threw up on international television, and it feels great!”

That’s better than all the self-help and motivational speeches in the world. The only thing that’s given me some measure of hope over the past few months about our collective future is those young people from Parkland. What’s great about them is they absolutely destroy the centrist notion that the future is fixed, that you can’t and shouldn’t even try.

Fuck yeah, Samantha Fuentes!

The Not Doing

Not doing something is the easiest thing in the world for me. Not signing up for Facebook? Done! I’ve continued to not do that for a very long time, and that simple inaction has made me look smarter and smarter by the day.

I should keep not doing all the things because it’s just so easy not to do something. All the shit I keep not doing is making me relatively more brilliant by the second.

If I keep not doing shit — and every indication is that this will be the case — soon, I will become a pure burst of light, unfathomable to normal mortals.

My dad ages ago would scream at me for all the things I didn’t do because I hated them. Turns out that it was a wise life strategy after all.

Gigged

That says it all about the new economy.

Comments Closed Forever

I was recently considering re-enabling commenting on my blog here. With the new FOSTA law, any user-generated content is potentially dangerous so I will not ever allow comments again.

Anyone who believes the bill had anything to do with sex trafficking or will help that in any way is simply delusional. But don’t believe me — believe the US Department of Justice.

No less than the U.S. Department of Justice has urged against passing FOSTA, calling it unconstitutional and saying that it would make prosecuting sex traffickers harder.

Of course, Facebook and Google love this law because onerous regulation is a competitive moat and favors those with deep pockets. I’d urge anyone who has comments active on their blogs to close those as they are now potentially a source of direct harm to you legally and financially.

With Net Neutrality destroyed, and with FOSTA, the internet as we knew it is now gone, never to return. It was inevitable but it is still sad.

A Very Rough Diamond

Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel should’ve actually been called Germs, Christianity, Culture, and Economics. Christianity was the vital cultural technology that allowed such a violent and comprehensive imperial expansion, and economic ideas and technologies (also heavily influenced by Christianity) provided the engine thereof.

There can be non-experts in a field who write a book that is perspicacious and breaks new ground. Alas, Diamond’s book is not one of those. It is anthropologically unsound, ashistorical, and ignores the most important elements in favor of relatively-unimportant ones (guns, steel).

Diamond went the long, stupid way ’round to “prove” the genetic non-superiority of European populations. The whole idea of genetic superiority is already prima facie idiotic, so why all the “being colossally wrong” was necessary, I haven’t any idea.

It’s not that all of Diamond’s ideas are wrong, or even bad. It’s that history is far, far more contingent than Diamond gives credit for, and if events had turned a little differently, Diamond would’ve been able to find post hoc reasons for why they occurred, too.

Cambridge

Just to be clear: nothing that Cambridge Analytica did was illegal. It is Facebook SOP.

Why people care so much when this has been happening for a decade, I haven’t any idea. Maybe it’ll result in positive change, but I somehow doubt it. If you don’t understand the problem what hope is there for fixing it?

PS

I do not use Craigslist Personals, though I did meet one woman on the site many years ago, but I told you so.

So the 99.9% of legitimate users will be harmed so we can also hurt sex workers? Sounds great.

I can’t believe all the idiocyย  of those (including many, many people on the Left) who supported this censorship bill.