The Block

This is true, but itโ€™s more than that. I know most everyone on Tumblr is really, really young, and at this point Iโ€™ve been around the block so many times theyโ€™ve named the damn thing after me, so hereโ€™s some advice.

Most jobs put an absurd list of requirements so if for some reason they donโ€™t like you, they can say, โ€œAh, Mary didnโ€™t know how to trampoline slam dunk a volleyball into a basketball hoop, as is listed in the requirements, so even though this is an administrative assistant job, sheโ€™s right out.โ€

When the real reason they didnโ€™t hire you is because it just wasnโ€™t a cultural fit, or you spoke in a Bronx accent, or any other number of reasons. It doesnโ€™t necessarily have to be discriminatory, though it often is โ€” listing absurd requirements is just an easy out for the company even if itโ€™s just a budgetary reason that the hiring doesnโ€™t go through.

However, sometimes ridiculous requirements are listed because the job is being tailored to a specific person who already works there. Many companies have rules that any job must be first advertised outside the company before an internal candidate can be hired. Iโ€™ve been involved in this myself several times as the internal candidate. Everyone has unique skills, so the job description was literally just a listing of all the things I already knew how to do. The chances of anyone else having exactly my skill set, especially since Iโ€™ve been in IT for nearly 20 years now? Nada. These jobs you will never get because they arenโ€™t for you, but they are hard to detect so apply away.

The desperation mentioned is also often at play, too. My last job (pre-CTO) I got somewhat for that reason, as I was not by the standards of the advertisement qualified for it, and I wasnโ€™t really who the company was looking for. Iโ€™d never worked for a large-scale hosting provider previously, and had never worked with multiple large customers at once. I was missing other qualifications, too, but I happened to get interviewed as they just couldnโ€™t find anyone else. As I (frankly) tend to do, I nailed the interview so hard they still canโ€™t get it off the wall, and a few weeks later I was sitting in a spot a less ambitious person had unknowingly abdicated.

Mediocre or not, I excelled in that (very difficult) job and I only got it because I had the gumption to apply.

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