A girlfriend from a long time ago wanted to go to Carowinds and do the rides and roller coasters. Fine, I have no problem with that. They don’t really do anything for me but if she finds them fun, I like her company, so it’s all good.

After one of the supposedly intense rides I noticed the attendant was staring at me. He said, “You are the only person I’ve ever seen on this ride look bored. You ok, man?” I think he thought I was sick or something, truly.

“My day job is way more exciting,” I said. “I just came to hang out with her.”

The weird thing is he never asked me what my day job was. He just nodded. At the time I was an active paratrooper and the rides themselves were indeed boring. I got more worked up by how damn expensive the food in the park was than anything else.