Here’s how much of a BernieBro I am: I don’t support Bernie and wish he weren’t running!

That makes me a double secret special sauce gestapo versteckter Bruder! I am such a BernieBro that when I think of Bernie, I mostly think, “Meh, he did some good things in 2016. Would’ve been better than Trump or Clinton. Wish he’d stayed out of the race.”

Thus, I am the very worst kind of BernieBro, one who just refuses to support Bernie and therefore must be a truly heinous person because I in fact do refuse to support Bernie so the centrists can have an excuse to hate me. Which means, by centrist and Clintonite logic, that I am actually a BernieBro because I don’t support Clinton and refuse to cheer dying via climate change as they putter around doing nothing.

Centrists are lunatic morons.

How Many Push-Ups Can You Do? It May Be a Good Predictor of Heart Health.

Not one of those push-ups in the short video at the top would count by army fitness standards (which is what I try to hold myself to since that’s what I know).

I can do around 50 push-ups now without stopping, though I haven’t concentrated on them much lately.

I woke up to a flood of texts from women and none of us, including me, will ever tweet what we said because we’re too scared of his followers.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) February 19, 2019

One of the main reasons I wish Bernie Sanders were not running is so that I don’t have to listen to hardcore Clintonites whine about mythical BernieBros being mean to them on Twitter. That was tiresome in 2016 and is even worse now.

Oh noes, someone said Clinton was not that great a candidate, it’s oppression and stalking! AYYYIIII!

If I get a cat, I am going to name it “Thoughts and Prayers.” That’s because cats are good for nothing and never do anything.

That’s how I like my cats, by the way.