I am so annoyed that people keep thinking I’m dating my father.

The opposite problem: I was with a younger friend in a supermarket. She’s around 20 years my junior but looks even younger than that, and has very youthful-seeming, girlish mannerisms and a baby face. I think to a lot of people she seems ~14. (For the fuddy-duddies, nosy nellies and other assorted worthless clowns, no, she was not a minor, being in her mid-20s).

Anyway, my friend was goofing around with me in an aisle and leaning on me a little. At the same time both of us noticed a 45-ish-year-old woman just glaring at us with the most intense death stare you can imagine. You know, the typical Karen glarin’. My friend, being a huge extrovert and completely unafraid of confrontation and like me having almost no capacity for embarrassment, immediately threw her arms around me and nearly shrieked:

“Oh, Mikey, when are you gonna put a BABY IN ME LIKE YOU DID SISTER-MOTHER?”

I’ve never seen someone vacate an aisle so quickly without running as that woman did. It was so, so great. The look on the Karen’s face can’t really be conveyed but it was a mixture of horror, fascination and something more than that…jealousy? Or perhaps regret that she didn’t get to diminish other’s good times and friendship? (A lot of women like that seem to just live to do that.)

With the Karen firmly banished, we were laughing like lunatics till I realized that we should leave the store as I thought we just might get arrested. God that was so much fun, popping that woman’s bubble just a little. Get on up in other people’s business, suffer the consequences.