They say the vagina is self-cleaning, but how exactly does it clean itself?
While you are sleeping, a tiny elf contract cleaning crew is summoned by automated vaginaphone, shows up, and swamps it right out. They’re so small you don’t even notice. Those hair ties you’re always missing? That’s right, payment.
They also like socks. Left socks specifically.
People do not give a goddamn shit about how great the economy is supposedly doing when their incomes are falling. Why can’t crack-smoking economists understand this?
Inflation ticks upward to 3.7% for August 2023.
The “transitory” dipshits have already declared victory, hilariously, despite their earlier contention that inflation would only be elevated for 3-6 months and it had already been quadruple that time when they announced themselves to be correct. And now it’s ticking up once again. They were wrong every way you could be wrong while simultaneously declaring victory. How the fuck does that work?
The price of keeping yourself physically and intellectually awesome is honestly pretty high. But it’s one I realize I’m glad to pay when I go to airports and see people waddling like ducks, too rotund to walk normally, and talking about the latest influencer trend.
That reminds me, I need to find another “smart book” to read. The last one I finished was about complications in facial plastic surgery. It was interesting but very dry.
Next? I ain’t know. But there’s a lot of choices.
The first ten on today’s playlist:
McDonald’s is getting rid of self-serve soda machines.
Huh. I remember when self-serve soda was new; now will get to see this disappear (others will follow McDonald’s lead).
Is there any chance of the Internet archive being forcefully shut down?
I’d give it around a 50% chance. Big corps absolutely hate that it exists, as do many powerful plutes. It’s a big, fairly easy target.
I guess there never will be a fucking smartphone that’s not the size of a Saturn V ever again.
Why people want such gigantic phones I have not a clue.
I’ve seen stuff like this before:
I’ve also seen a man called a “child molester” because he was in his 60s and dating a 39-year-old woman. They met when she was 39, by the way. Why so many women so yearn to be infantilized I haven’t any idea.
This is true and made me laugh:
It’ll be nice when we get out of this horrible anchorite assclown ascetic era.
Do you guys also notice an increase in real estate agents turning to escorting?
Haha, what? “Real estate consultation?” You see some crazy new shit every day.
A mere 12% of Americans eat half the nation’s beef.
I hope I am in this club already, but if not I aspire to join it. Bison is also great, if cooked right.
Too much of feminism these days is: That guy is attracted to women and says so, must be some kind of pervert!
Neo-puritanism gotta die.
The first ten on today’s playlist:
Fellow men, what did a girl that you were interested in do that gave you the “ick”?
“Ick” is such a stupid term. However, it was the woman who ate about 20 dinner rolls at a restaurant before the meal. And these rolls weren’t small. It was insane. The waitress was flabbergasted, as was I.
The woman — my date — was not obese, and when I asked her about it she just said, “I really like dinner rolls.”
There was no second date.
Am I about to be human trafficked?
No, that’s not how human trafficking works, but it’s most likely some complex identity theft scam combined with getting you to do criminal activity (check fraud, money laundering, etc.) at the same time. Eject, eject, eject!