I name thee “Universal Computer Problem Solver.”
It resolves any computer headache instantly. Got an issue finding your Start menu that’s been in the same place for 30 years? Plug this handy-dandy device in and within fractions of a second it will no longer be your problem. Can’t recall the name of the application that you’ve used to do your daily work for 14 years? Slap this baby in and bam, it becomes a non-issue in a snap.
Yes indeed my friends, the UCPS can put the kibosh on all your computer annoyances instantly. Big or small, the UCPS solves ’em all!
And after you’re done fixing all your tech troubles, just leave the Solver plugged in and insert the USB connector into your mouth. It has a nice minty flavor that I’ll bet you just can’t wait to try.
No one has ever asked for a refund!