Here’s how much of a BernieBro I am: I don’t support Bernie and wish he weren’t running!

That makes me a double secret special sauce gestapo versteckter Bruder! I am such a BernieBro that when I think of Bernie, I mostly think, “Meh, he did some good things in 2016. Would’ve been better than Trump or Clinton. Wish he’d stayed out of the race.”

Thus, I am the very worst kind of BernieBro, one who just refuses to support Bernie and therefore must be a truly heinous person because I in fact do refuse to support Bernie so the centrists can have an excuse to hate me. Which means, by centrist and Clintonite logic, that I am actually a BernieBro because I don’t support Clinton and refuse to cheer dying via climate change as they putter around doing nothing.

Centrists are lunatic morons.