Overheard a friend describing being a straight woman on dating apps: “It’s like Linkedin: the inbounds r always worse on average than outbounds. The guys you message are your dream job and the guys messaging you have an exciting 6-mo java contracting opportunity in Akron, Ohio.”
— Leigh Honeywell (@hypatiadotca) September 4, 2019
And the funny thing is from this description, the friend seems to have no idea that she’s reproducing exactly the same behavior that she’s experiencing and decrying.
That’s easy to explain, and I don’t blame her; men are guilty, too. People absolutely have to be hypocrites about dating, what they really want, and their own minds in reference to this, or it’d all fall apart. And then they have to deny their hypocrisy and play-act being extremely offended if you point out that they are in fact acting hypocritically.
Women are absolutely as guilty of this as men, but just like men they don’t see it — because they only observe and care about the hypocrisy of (usually) men and have no idea how they must and in fact do betray themselves and their own ethics.
It’s a consequence of being apes barely up from the savannah in a world we’re not constructed for, and it’s probably unavoidable.