In many ways, my dad was not a good father. He was very different from me, or even my sister, and didn’t really understand either of us. He was overly critical while offering really no guidance to speak of on how to be better, on how to improve.

But one thing of use I did get from him is when someone complained incessantly about something without making any effort to change it, he’d say, “If you actually cared that much, you’d have already done something about it.” And I think that’s quite a valuable insight. That’s one of the reasons I am so critical of fail-promoting movements like Fat Acceptance and inceldom. They wallow. They revel in their failure. They do not want to get better.

Some people look at it as bullying if you tell people they could improve their situation and do not mince words about it. Whatevs. I’m truly glad someone did that for me. My father’s insight there is one of the reasons I decided to join the army, which was probably the best thing I ever did with my life.

If it’s bullying to say, “You know, maybe, just maybe, you could improve your life,” so be it I guess.