What’s the most annoying phrase you often hear from clients?

“Can I call you?”

I mean, at least they ask. But most often it’s after they receive some very clear, simple, meticulously-written instructions on exactly how to do something. And then they expect me to walk them through it on the phone like they are seven years old.

I used to just assent, but these days I push back with: “Please try following the attached instructions first and then if you are not able to complete the process, I will schedule a call where we can work on this together.” Over 90% of the time the client or user is able to do what they need to do without any help at all. I hate tying up people’s time and I only want someone babysitting me on the phone if I absolutely cannot do something after 5-10 times of trying it, so I cannot understand why so many people want to take up mine.

I know, I know, it’s because IT people are seen as “computer janitors,” even when you’re at my level — but I just do not play along with that bullshit anymore.

So, no, you can’t call me. At least not as the first thing you do.