I’ve been struggling to formulate a larger working social theory than either the useless pieties of modern feminism or the thoughtless and sometimes accidentally-correct rank misogyny of the MRAs and PUAs and similar worthless reprobates. And I watched this.

With mobile dating-apps like Tinder and Grindr designed to minimize unexpected encounters, and the #MeToo movement unveiling the rash of sexual abuses of power, does anyone still dare to flirt?

As my partner and I were watching the movie Ladybird, there’s a scene where two characters were flirting in a coffee shop. As we watched, I turned to my partner and said, “By the modern definition, both characters are now simultaneously harassing each other.”

The above bit about “designed to minimize unexpected encounters” made me think of that scene. I’ve also been pondering a lot about how (most) women’s visceral disdain for sex workers and very narrow ideas about appropriate age differences in relationships is almost all about competition limitation rather than any desire to prevent harm. However, this is something you just aren’t allowed to bring up in polite conversation. Fortunately, I am not very polite.

There are hidden mechanisms at work here, and relatedly in laws like FOSTA, and I care far more about those hidden mechanisms — the things that really propel society — than being courteous. I want to know the things that, socially and societally, you aren’t supposed to realize or understand.

Something else I’m considering is how much of these supposed “reduction of harm” changes are actually efforts to ensure proper assortative mating occurs, and that marginal and undesirable men (and, in many cases, women) are excluded from the dating and sexual markets. It’s also obvious that as basic needs are met, more sexual selection occurs. This also plays into it and how nearly everyone (men very much included) is hypocritical about sexual and mate choice.

Most people are in fact hypocritical and delusional about their sexual and cultural desires and wishes, because if they weren’t they’d be seen (correctly) as monstrous.