I don’t really have any desire to learn German and I don’t want to live in Germany, but if I were really ridiculously rich my one absurd indulgence that everyone in the press would pillory me for is that I’d have pastries and bread flown in from Germany on the fastest flight available twice a week.

Hell, I’d go so far as to buy some decommed supersonic jet to get those vital comestibles here faster. I feel so sad when I drive by all the interminable doughnut shops in the US, and all the other just atrocious “bakeries” and think about what’s available in Germany (and other Euro countries) and how wonderful it tastes.

How do Americans tolerate such terrible food? I cannot understand it.