Call Out

Who’s on first?

This reminds me of when I’m on calls with customers. Where I work now, I do many, many things. Too many, but it’s a small company. What can make it challenging is that we serve extremely large enterprise customers, mostly1. That creates weird imbalances.

Often, I’ll be on calls alone where the customer has 12+ people. And it’s funny when they don’t realize that I’m doing the role of those dozen or more people on the other side.

They’ll be like, “Is the compliance person here from the vendor?”

And I’ll say, “I’m here, on the call.”

And then someone from the customer will say, “Is the security lead here?”

“Right here,” I’ll chime in.

“Is the technical architect here?”

“Also here,” I’ll offer. At that point I’ll usually cut in and say that I’m the one on the call doing all the roles they had listed and I’m the only one who will be there.

It’s always funny.

  1. Trust me, you’ve heard of nearly all of our customers.

Spector

Do men inspect every girl they see?

“Inspect?” What is this shit?

Yes, I build a complete 3-D mental model of every girl that comes within sight range. I run sims of every aspect of her physique and likely personality and spend 75,000 years exploring them until the perfect scenario emerges. I have millions of mental virtual machines alone devoted to this.

Reality is that I barely notice anyone I see. Most men are like that most of the time. We aren’t some girl-hunting cyborgs.

Jesus Christ.

Sales Call

Exactly.

The “It was just a rowdy tour group!” nonsense is so fucking funny to me. It’s like a Monty Python sketch except in real life. Listen, if you believe the January 6 insurrection, attempted coup and actual riot was just a tour group gone wild, I need your name and number because I could sell you anything.

Port

Me too.

And now a million clown-ass degrowthers are weeping into their kombucha. This makes me happy.

Overalls

I stole this from somewhere else (forgot where now), but it’s funny that anti-vax sentiment could only develop where vaccines were nearly ubiquitous and had been for a long time.

Otherwise, all the death and then averting it with vaccines would make it immediately clear the effectiveness of vaccination.

Humans are overall kinda stupid.