Amusing

Inference Engine

Chill Amusing, Cute

She’s pretty, looks both fun and intelligent, is not obese and doesn’t appear to be full of unwarranted judgement and entitlement like nearly all American women. She looks like she could be someone who is an actual friend and not a competitor vying for power with you in any sort of relationship, romantic or otherwise. At a glance, it seems like you might be able to talk to her without having your reputation dragged and your life ruined on social media for internet clout.

Yes, that’s a lot to infer from a photo, but there’s a reason we claim they are worth a thousand words.

(That’s not the new Japanese prime minister btw, that’s Saori Araki, a former Japanese pop star.)

Go Play

Chill Amusing, Annoying, Clowns

Wrong. So wrong.

I was vastly ahead of my peers in kindergarten. I could already read at an eithth-grade level. I could tell time on an analog clock1. For this and other reasons, I was vastly bored in school from the start.

I’d also do all the worksheets for all the kids around me because I could complete them 100x as fast as they could. This was so we could go play more quickly.

Kindergartners are definitely not all at the same level. Important differences show up early.

  1. And had my kindergarten teacher get mad because I checked the time off her analog wristwatch. For some reason we weren’t supposed to know what time it was in kindergarten?

Call Out

Chill Amusing

Who’s on first?

This reminds me of when I’m on calls with customers. Where I work now, I do many, many things. Too many, but it’s a small company. What can make it challenging is that we serve extremely large enterprise customers, mostly1. That creates weird imbalances.

Often, I’ll be on calls alone where the customer has 12+ people. And it’s funny when they don’t realize that I’m doing the role of those dozen or more people on the other side.

They’ll be like, “Is the compliance person here from the vendor?”

And I’ll say, “I’m here, on the call.”

And then someone from the customer will say, “Is the security lead here?”

“Right here,” I’ll chime in.

“Is the technical architect here?”

“Also here,” I’ll offer. At that point I’ll usually cut in and say that I’m the one on the call doing all the roles they had listed and I’m the only one who will be there.

It’s always funny.

  1. Trust me, you’ve heard of nearly all of our customers.

Spector

Chill Amusing, Annoying

Do men inspect every girl they see?

“Inspect?” What is this shit?

Yes, I build a complete 3-D mental model of every girl that comes within sight range. I run sims of every aspect of her physique and likely personality and spend 75,000 years exploring them until the perfect scenario emerges. I have millions of mental virtual machines alone devoted to this.

Reality is that I barely notice anyone I see. Most men are like that most of the time. We aren’t some girl-hunting cyborgs.

Jesus Christ.

Sales Call

Chill Amusing, Annoying, Clowns

Exactly.

The “It was just a rowdy tour group!” nonsense is so fucking funny to me. It’s like a Monty Python sketch except in real life. Listen, if you believe the January 6 insurrection, attempted coup and actual riot was just a tour group gone wild, I need your name and number because I could sell you anything.

Port

Chill Amusing, Cool

Me too.

And now a million clown-ass degrowthers are weeping into their kombucha. This makes me happy.

Overalls

Chill Amusing, Annoying, Clowns

I stole this from somewhere else (forgot where now), but it’s funny that anti-vax sentiment could only develop where vaccines were nearly ubiquitous and had been for a long time.

Otherwise, all the death and then averting it with vaccines would make it immediately clear the effectiveness of vaccination.

Humans are overall kinda stupid.