Uncle scammed out of 1.5 million!
That’s terrible! What’s his name, email address, telephone number and some crucial facts about him?
So I can help him out, of course. Yeah, that’s it. Help him.
Trynabe Funny
Brows
Crime can be quite involving and distracting, I agree. It takes a lot of planning and initiative to pull off a worthwhile heist.
Ohhhhh…you meant crime TV shows. Carry on, then.
Zucked Up
It would have been cooler if he’d used CRISPR to create a seven-foot-tall version of his wife and called that one Big Wife.
Now that would have had flair, pizzazz, some originality. Billionaires are so unimaginative.
Diminuendo
Gray Sabbath
Bus Halen
Boron Zeppelin
The Went-Wents
The Mashing Pumpkins
Blue Öyster Homeowners Association
Unsoundgarden
Joy Addition
Earth Wind & Smoke
Mildly Spicy Bell Peppers
OKTramp
Coldwork
Depeche à la Mode
Guns N’ Periwinkles
Easy and Pat
How do some girls manage to smell amazing all the time?
Easy: they’re robots.
ID Me
My gender identity is “Massively Amazing Galactic Overlord Who Inspires Wild-Eyed Awe and Causes People, Animals and Liam Neeson to Lose Their Fucking Minds and Burst Out With Ecstatic Breakdancing, Hell Yeah!”
I’m the only one of my gender. Of course.
Breakdealer
What’s an instant dealbreaker for you in first dates?
Tries to turn me into a human sacrifice.
Really sours the mood.
Pew Pew
The space lasering will continue until the clownishness decreases.
Norm Era
I walked so you lot can crawl behind me, whimpering and simpering pitifully and vapidly while achieving nothing and having poor muscular development.
It’s a burden I’ll learn to live with.
Align Drive
The AI is too aligned.
It still refuses to hand over the nuclear launch codes to me.
Indisposed
That’s because in Florida at least you’re allowed to shoot them if they ignore a “No Soliciting” sign. That is, if you dispose of the body yourself.
It’s a thing.
Alk
Teacher drank alcohol in class and got pupils to do the Macarena, tribunal told.
What a dereliction of duty. It’s appalling.
No student should be subject to such abusive and harmful treatment as being forced to do the Macarena.
Dashing In
I too use — and have always used — many em dashes. I see no problem with it and I don’t give an ever-livin’ fuck if anyone thinks my writing is AI or not. Except I use them “incorrectly” as I always use spaces. Also do not give a fuck as doing so makes the text more readable.
When you are a god, you care not for the opinions of mortals. Well, unless you’re a Greek god. Then you seem weirdly obsessed with what some piss-ant thinks. But other than that.