I’ve decided that I’m trans.
Transcendent, that is.
Trynabe Funny
Pital
I do think the place where bunnies are treated should be called a hopspital.
Secondhand
And 100% of people who live within five minutes of me live within 300 seconds of me. It’s like a miracle or something.
Cape
I really hate escape rooms.
All I want to do is escape.
Smarter
Wife got scammed via LINKEDIN…what to do.
Simple: Find a smarter wife.
Let There Be Lux
If you call me anything other than “His Glorious Majesty, Conqueror of the Known Realms, Future Overlord of All Realms, Ruler of the Spaces Between and Beyond, Chosen of the Unknown and Unknowable Numens of the Infinite Black, Dreamer of All Dreams, Finder of All Lost Things, Scourge of the Gutless and the Insipid, the First and Only of His Name: The Eternal Galactic Overlord Lux Null,” you are deadnaming me.
And I will not stand for it.
Mith
Accidentally became a metalworker because I mistook “smithing” for “smiting.”
Dammit.
Lay It Down
We need to stop messing about with gain of function experiments and work on more gain of funkiness research.
Aweþi
For those who are too sheepish, sounds like a ewe problem.
It’s Her
A great way to improve your mental health is to develop a pathological hatred of a public figure you've never met, and interpret everything they do as a direct and personal attack on you and your identity.
— wokeandwoofing (@wokeandwoofing) December 15, 2025
Agreed. Damn you, Saoirse Ronan, why must you be such a blight upon my existence. First, you have the gall to have a difficult-to-pronounce name just to spite me and my girlfriend. And then I know it was you who is digging up my garden. I just know it. You sneak in there at night in a raccoon suit. It doesn’t even fit right.
I’m certain you’re laying hexes and sending me coded message of pure maleficence in every TV interview. That’s why I watch every single one to make sure. There is no evil to which witch Saoirse will not stoop. Something must be done!
Portal
Be the teleportation accident you wish to see in the world.
Resolved
Goals for the next year:
1) Teach donkeys to yodel.
2) Start an intentional community based on worshipping muffins.
3) Bring back carburetors. Mandate all cars have them. I don’t know why, I just like carburerators.
4) Drill for oil on the Moon. Just for funsies.
5) Convert all Waffle Houses to boxing gyms. They can still serve food. Very little will have to change.
Transgress
If they make being awesome illegal, then I shall be forced into a life of criminality.
Loof Choices
I tend to be aloof, but never a loofah.
Simplest Plan
I’m not a vegetarian and definitely not a vegan. None of that nonsense. I’m a yumatarian; I eat whatever tastes yum.
Very simple.