Be the teleportation accident you wish to see in the world.

Goals for the next year:

1) Teach donkeys to yodel.

2) Start an intentional community based on worshipping muffins.

3) Bring back carburetors. Mandate all cars have them. I don’t know why, I just like carburerators.

4) Drill for oil on the Moon. Just for funsies.

5) Convert all Waffle Houses to boxing gyms. They can still serve food. Very little will have to change.

If they make being awesome illegal, then I shall be forced into a life of criminality.

I tend to be aloof, but never a loofah.

I’m not a vegetarian and definitely not a vegan. None of that nonsense. I’m a yumatarian; I eat whatever tastes yum.

Very simple.

But…I don’t want to go to Jamaica?

I invented dilly-dallying in 2017 https://t.co/E4lNOZCA5B

— Misha (@drethelin) October 23, 2025

I invented idlesse in 1259.

it’s remarkable how quickly I’ve gotten used to having a 90% omnipotent 10% retarded entity at my disposal for absolutely any purpose 24/7

— Sebastian Ballister (@rakishromantic) October 18, 2025

I’ve always been 90% omnipotent and 10% retarded so it feels normal to me.

How are you actually supposed to end a conversation with someone you randomly run into?

This always works for me: “I have to go. Just realized I can’t remember the last time I gave my captive in the basement some water.”

It’s a myth that a network admins are feral malcontents. I am a network admin and I haven’t bitten anyone in weeks. So there.

All of you will be very sad when you’re in the slave mines on the moon getting me my Helium-3 for fusion experiments in space! Yes you will.

Did you hear? Waffle House is introducing child fighting pits so the kids have something to do while the ‘rents duke it out.

Just opened this brand new vegan butter and it’s already molded.

At least that would improve the taste immensely.