I couldn’t be happier with my new 5K iMac. It’s faster, quieter, more capable and just overall better than the late 2014 model.

But the new MacBooks sound like utter pieces of garbage.

First, no escape key and a useless touch bar. Then, like the iPhone, dongle hell. Now, a keyboard that a single piece of dust can destroy.

My next laptop will definitely not be made by Apple, unfortunately. I need more than one or two goddamn ports, and I definitely do not need a keyboard that a single piece of dust can destroy.

Have you noticed that we live on a pretty dusty planet?