For a while, I worked a job that involved doing high-level support for Exchange and Outlook issues for a major bank. We were the support tier when all the other support tiers (including Microsoft’s) could not find a solution. So, if you want to think of it in the normal three-tier support model, we were like fifth-tier support.

Since our time was very valuable, we were also not compelled to put up with any customer bullshit. If a customer abused us, or cursed at us, we were required to give one warning, but then we could hang up. We used this power quite a lot because we dealt with executives and many of them were terrible people. The women particularly were the most abusive and the most angry. I have no idea why, but any woman executive there was just a bundle of entitlement and extreme aggression. Even the other women on the team just cringed when another woman from that bank called for help as they knew what was going to happen.

This is one call that I particularly remember (condensed).

Me: “Hello, this is Exchange/Outlook Elite Support. How may I help you?”

Woman Exec: “Why are you laughing at me? Are you going to help with my problem or not?”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, I wasn’t laughing. I just answered the phone. I will be glad to help but I will need to know what the problem is.”

Woman Exec: “Well, it sounded like you were laughing and I am tempted to tell your supervisor. But my problem is [insert problem here].

(Now anyone who has heard me speak knows what my voice is not one of those that can really be mistaken for laughter.)

Me: “Ok, it seems like you have called before, and I do remember telling you that this is not an Outlook or Exchange issue, and instead is an issue with your network adapter or laptop itself. It’ll have to be directed to another department as we explained last time.”

Woman Exec: “You fucking piece of shit, you are just attempting to get out of doing your fucking job! I demand you fix this problem with my email right fucking now! I demand you get your manager on the phone right now, goddammit!”

Me: “I’d be glad to get my boss, but I also have to warn you that this is not a department that you can just abuse at will. I am permitted to hang up on you and I will if you keep at it.”

Woman Exec: “You fucking asshole, do you know who I am? I am [some inconsequential role I don’t care about.] You cannot just hang up on me, you little shithead!”

Me, while she’s still screaming at 100DB into the phone: “Yes, I really can.” (click).

Later on, a tech called me after seeing my name in the ticket to tell me that I was right, it was not an Exchange issue, and they replaced her entire laptop, and that he wished he could also have hung up on that “complete and utter mega-bitch from Hell.”