Wives that buy their husbands cargo shorts do so to make sure he’s too dorky looking to cheat

Same reason they pretend they don’t care if you get a dad bod

— Alexander J.A Cortes (@AJA_Cortes) April 4, 2019

Basically.

I try to be the best-dressed in my office, whatever office I’m in. Not too hard in IT, really, given the appalling apparel to be found there. Got in a bit of a competition with a guy at an old job, but beat him out when I showed up in an ornate maroon velvet-lined waistcoat and some fancy-ass pants. Don’t have a picture, unfortunately, and it’s too hot to wear most of the time.

The things that normals get up to I just have trouble understanding, though.