L.A. Affairs: Why I stood him up on our very first date.

This reminds me of all the social stuff that trips geeks and nerd types up (hello, this used to be me!). Everyone knows where stuff like buying drinks for a woman in a bar is leading, but at the same time everyone must pretend like they do not know. The minute you acknowledge that, on either side, you’ve lost! This is very hard for geeks and nerds because oftentimes they do truly just want to buy drinks for a woman at a bar, with no ulterior motive, and this is absolutely 100% impossible for normals to understand. On the other hand if a geek is straightforward about it and says, “I am buying you drinks because I want to take you home and have sex with you,” which everyone knows is what is happening (including the woman in question, no matter if she plays innocent), then that makes them horribly creepy and predatory.

This stuff is not taught anywhere and if you are not a natural at it, it takes a very long time to learn. I don’t generally pick up women at bars, but I did eventually learn this stuff through trial and much error. Those who are naturals at it assume everyone is just born that way (see Elevatorgate from years ago) like they were — when nothing could be further from the truth.

It’s a game I don’t like playing, but at least I know how to play. Many people truly do not and that’s seen as them just being assholes. A lot of the time, though, they just do not have the skills at all.