I think one of the biggest cultural differences between men and women is that women often think they are sending very clear signals that somehow despite being so “obvious,” men choose not to pick up on. Women believe men are deliberately ignoring these signals when we usually have NO FUCKING IDEA. Trust me as someone with quite a few women friends where we talk about such things openly, I can say that I’m pretty exceptional as a man in this regard — and I still miss and am completely oblivious to about 50% of the “obvious” signals women send.

Most men, though, miss 95% of them. So I do much better than average but still manage to have no idea about a whole lot. And I care! I want to know and to notice. But early life and the social milieu in which you were raised matter a whole lot. And I was not brought up as a woman.

A lot of women are like, “It was so clear! He’s doing it on purpose!” No, truly, we are not at all. Most men would absolutely love to pick up on these signals as often they are signals of interest. But we just do not notice or even know how to notice them.