What are a few obscure rules you have for yourself WRITTEN IN FUCKING STONE?

Not sure these are obscure, but rules I live by:

1) Never, ever let anyone bully me or those I care about. If they try, make them pay. A lot.

2) Never be fat and weak again.

3) Always be polite; never be a pushover.

4) Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But once they prove they are clowns, eject.

5) Attempt to pet all cats I see.

Addendum: Continue to be a stubborn, grumpy motherfucker gettin’ shit done and complaining all day long.

Hard to go wrong with those.