Why do people automatically associate men who hit women back in fights with cowards?

Because men are vastly stronger in the upper body and many men know how to punch well and hard, and most women do not. And most women have no fighting skills even apart from their smaller strength and stature because they did not grow up in the violence-drenched male world. Also, taking a punch or protecting one’s self when attacked is a skill in itself (ask me how I know!).

My partner is pretty strong and has worked out for many years now. She’s probably stronger than 95% of women at this point. But she’s still only stronger than ~10% of men. And thanks to natural testosterone I — no genetic marvel — am at least twice as strong as she is, probably more if I went all out. And because I know how to punch and my arms simply weigh more, I can throw a punch with 4-6x more force behind it than she could.

She could punch me and hurt me a bit. I could punch her (which I’d never, ever do) and potentially kill her in one shot bare-handed if I hit the right place. That’s in no way equal. And that’s why men are rightly seen as cowards if we go around punching women who could easily be restrained or just stopped another way.