Why guys do not get hints that someone has a crush on them?

Because women’s hints are extremely opaque and it’s impossible to distinguish many women’s normal friendliness from flirtation — and the consequences of making a mistake here for a guy can be vast, such as being accused of harassment, losing your friend group, losing your career, being a pariah on social media, etc. There is no reason to think a woman is flirting. None. There is absolutely no benefit to it for a man to presume this at all, only downside.

So the equilibrium now is that only absolutely terrible guys approach women and no one decent does. This is an equilibrium women have created, by the way. In this realm at least, it is all their fault. Here’s how you could change it if you wanted to.

Enjoy.

What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn’t exist?

Finding out that terrible sociopaths often win in life, and at a higher rate than good people do. This is completely obvious when you work in the corporate world for even a little bit.