Now that I ‘m officially a homeowner, this neighborhood better stay exactly like it was when I moved in! I’m the last valid resident and anyone after me is a damn interloper! No one better even move a blade of grass or build anything anywhere where I can see it. Because that’d be wrong and infringe on my rights to live in stasis like in some crappy sf show.

If I even hear a rumor of someone unauthorized so much as walking through these environs, I’ll run them over with my F-250 in self defense. There is no reason for anyone to be in this neighborhood unapproved when they simply could be somewhere else.

(This is a parody of the Boomer NIMBY mentality. I’ve not become Kevin Drum all of the sudden, whose whole political outlook hinges solely on what any policy or politician might do to his house price. Frankly, I do not give a single fuck about my house price.)