What are some signs you’re about to be laid off?

The top ten signs you’re about to be laid off (Dave Letterman style):

10) Your manager refers to you as “My new yacht payment” during a meeting.

9) Your chair is replaced with a five gallon bucket and your desk is now damp cardboard.

8) When you attempt to badge in, the badge reader makes the “womp womp” sound.

7) You manager adds you to a Slack channel called #FutureHomeless.

6) Your desk becomes a Mad Max scene of office supplies theft and looting.

5) Mandatory brain download into an AI that has taken your name and face.

4) Your company car is replaced with a Big Wheel.

3) When you go to the company all-hands conference, the HR table shoots spitballs at you.

2) Karen body checks you in front of the coffee maker and says, “You won’t be needing that anymore.”

And now, the number one sign that you’re about to be laid off:

1) Just like your parents did, the office and everyone in it moves without telling you the new address.

Thank you, ladies and gentleman. Now for our first guest.