If women are told to protect themselves from men, why are they criticized when they actually do?
Partially, it is one of those no-win traps. That is fair and valid.
But also, most women are extremely, incredibly bad at recognizing risk in men that other men can determine are dangerous abusers nearly instantly. And those women do not seem to get better at it.
This, understandably, causes resentment when women avoid and disdain men who pose no threat while madly chasing those who will very obviously likely assault her, hit her, or far worse. And it happens all the time, no matter what women claim.
And no, this isn’t about sour grapes or whatever. I’m perfectly happy with the amount of female attention I’ve received in my life. It’s more about confusion (and this would be true of most men). It’s just vexing and mystifying to watch a woman who insists she cares about “safety” jaunt off with some dude who is about as safe as a crate of raw nitroglycerin in the back of an F1 car whipping around the track in Dubai.
All men (even the bad ones) know this is true, and nearly no women will admit it. So we are where we are.
But what is it in a man that other men can recognise as unsafe and is apparently hidden from women?
What men can recognize in men that are dangerous to women is that they have a certain feral energy to them that indicates that they do not care much about rules or sanctions. Unfortunately, this is also what makes many men attractive to women. So my guess (and it’s more than a guess, I have quite a few close women friends) is that most women reason this way: “He’s dangerous, but not to me. Also, he’s super hot because he is dangerous.”
Sometimes that is true, but most often it is not. He’s just dangerous, period. So women always think they have found the rare exception when 99% of the time they’ve just found another abuser. Since generally these men who can detect the bad man right away aren’t attracted to men (dangerous or not), it’s totally obvious to men that this man who is “different” is in fact no different. However, women are blind to it. Lust and desire do strange things to everyone. The mistake we’ve made is pretending that women are immune to either of those influences.