I’m not defending Aziz Ansari here. I think he was a jerk to “Grace” and though not a rapist, certainly an entitled asshole.

However, many women will outright reject you as pusillanimous and unmanly if you are not sexually forward or aggressive. I tend not to be attracted to these type of women, but I have certainly dated a few. I don’t mean pressuring a woman into sex — I mean unless you really take the initiative, these women see you as a complete loser and weak. They are attracted to the narrative of the aggressive, implacable male. Ansari I am sure has experienced more of these women than people in most other walks of life. I am certain that these experiences altered his behavior towards women.

As I said, these women are not for me. But in my experience, they are roughly half the dating market. Direct quote from a woman who was essentially berating me for not being sexually aggressive enough (before we’d ever had sex): “You have to make me yours! Stop asking so many questions!”

Not sure where that falls into the “enthusiastic consent” narrative. Essentially, she wanted none of that at all. Feminists will tell you these women don’t exist. Feminists are wrong. Of course, according to feminists, socialization also doesn’t exist and is all-encompassing, whether they are talking about men being socialized or women.

I wish ambiguity were excisable from human interaction — most of the time at least. But the simple fact is that it’s persistent and indissoluble. Certainly, culture can be changed. Human nature, however, cannot be.