One thing that I can say about my dad is that he was an excellent judge of character. Far better than I was and am. It was his special gift and he was never wrong.
After Iโd known Tia for about a year, she and I went over to my dadโs house to pick up some food from his garden on a sunny weekend morning. She liked his unruly free-ranging chickens as sheโd never been around any and I enjoyed being out in the country again. We stayed and visited for a few hours, just walking the backwoods and hanging out. She wandered around and looked at everything that she could find or touch, which was her way.
During the visit as I was meandering along the fenceline with my dad, he nodded over to where Tia was, way across the yard and said, โSon, is she your girlfriend?โ
I said, โNo, dad, not my girlfriend. Sheโs had some very bad experiences with men and is not really interested in that right now.โ I didnโt want to go into detail and violate my friendโs privacy, nor tell him that it was more complicated than that. But Tia wasnโt at the time my (or anyoneโs) girlfriend.
Then he said, โWell, I can tell you sheโs a good one. You should spend more time around her and away from some of your other friends. Sheโs something else.โ
When my dad said a person was โsomething else,โ that was high praise. The very highest. He said that about maybe three people in my life that Iโd ever heard. And looking back, he was annoyingly enough always right in that one little area, whether about praise or disdain. A girlfriend of mine that heโd met earlier heโd judged to be exploitative and horrible, and he was 100% correct. She was damaged and damaging and he figured that out in about 10 minutes when it took me six months. (And no, he wasnโt talking about Tia being beautiful, though she was. My dad, much like me, didnโt care about that or really notice it much at all and never had. Anyway, most of what made her deeply and profoundly beautiful was her personality and immeasurable kindness, which no picture can convey. That was what my dad had picked up on.)
He was right, right yet again. I wish Iโd told Tia what he said. She was indeed something else.