I always see mooks writing articles that are like, “You can’t get all muscular and cut without a personal trainer and two personal chefs, you’re not a celebrity, don’t even try!” Then, I think about my quite shitty genetics, and look at my body which is in fact pretty muscular and cut. So then I look around for my personal trainer and my two chefs, and I find them not.

Then I realize this is another example of allowing people to wallow in their loserdom — both enabling it and writing what will get clicks and make money. Because of course if you go Full Metal Jacket on them and call your readers disgusting maggots who should show some damn initiative and not be professional couch pilots, you probably won’t have very many readers for long.

I have no financial incentive to coddle people so this weaselly low-expectations show of deference has no influence on what I write.

Anyway, enjoy the dramatic Batman lighting in the photo below. My arm muscles look a lot better in other photos, but I liked the lighting here a lot. And you get the idea because my muscles are still killin’ it even in this light.