I was going to read Peter van Inwagen’s “An Essay on Free Will” what I thought was, as they say, real quick.

It’s 248 pages.

An essay is not 248 pages.

An essay is like 10 pages, 15 pages, max.

Someone really needs sit home slice down and explain an essay to him.

(Yes, I realize there is not-commonly-used sense of the word “essay” that he might be using here. I’ve read at least three different dictionaries. But still. No one uses it that way, not even some crusty old philosophy professor.)