Being kind is ideal; I strive to be kind in every interaction. That should be the goal — even if we fail — of every thinking human.

I even support the idea of trigger warnings, but rebel against their use as a cudgel to censor and suppress undesirable ideas, which seems to be their primary purpose these days.

Because the truth is everyone who has experienced violence and trauma has triggers. Because in a violent world, so-called “triggers” are not maladaptive. They are in fact very useful.

Today we were at a restaurant where many people were walking behind me and I couldn’t see them well. I do not like people behind me because of how many times I’ve been ambushed and attacked from behind in my life.

It’s nearly impossible to sneak up on me because I’m so watchful of people in my periphery and (luckily for me) have ridiculous (for humans, anyway) peripheral vision — but still, people walking up behind me puts me in attack mode. It’s something I have to deliberately suppress.

So it doesn’t make for a pleasant dining experience, and it might make for an extremely unpleasant dining experience indeed if someone made the mistake of touching me from behind if I happen to not see them.

That’s a trigger. That was also completely adaptive where I grew up.

What should I do, put a sign on my back in blinking lights that says, “Don’t sneak up on me from behind unless you like the flavor of knuckle sandwiches?”

Of course that’d just make some assholes try it.