When I watch videos like this, I am thankful for how great my current partner is in comparison. Because in all my other prior relationships, the problems sheโs talking about have occurred.
Women love the, โIf you were a real man, you would (insert something insane or demeaning here)โ line. My current partner has never said or even implied anything like that. Women often have more toxic masculinity immanent than men they accuse of same is what Iโve noticed.
As always with things aimed at the so-called โmanosphereโ (of which I am not a part), I donโt agree with all of it, but I think she makes one particularly important point: Women often claim they do a lot of โemotional labor.โ I think this is mostly bullshit. Many women donโt even believe men have emotions and if they do, they should suppress them wholly. For example women in the past Iโve been with spent hours a week trauma-dumping and I (and millions of other men) are expected to listen to this and react appropriately.
But the moment you even hint that youโre having a hard time or something didnโt go your way and it made you sad or uspet, the reaction of these same women is often, โMan up and fix your own shit!โ Or, โIโm not here for a weak man.โ Or they just lose all attraction to you. Like, you can literally see it drain out of their eyes.
Men know itโs mostly them who do most of the emotional labor in most relationships. Itโs just that men having any emotions is seen by most women as โemotional labor.โ Sucks.
People who follow and believe in traditional gender roles* get very performative about their emotions whether it’s suppressing them or over expressing certain emotions. It’s irritating. It’s exhausting. I agree, all of that is emotional labor.
*This is way more than people will admit to. So many feminists counsel women to behave exactly as old school gender norms suggest.
I think gender roles definitely need a good re-vamp, just not quite in the ways that the trans-is-all-that-matters people would prefer.
You’re right about the emotional performance aspect.