Teacher drank alcohol in class and got pupils to do the Macarena, tribunal told.
What a dereliction of duty. It’s appalling.
No student should be subject to such abusive and harmful treatment as being forced to do the Macarena.
Trynabe Funny
Dashing In
I too use — and have always used — many em dashes. I see no problem with it and I don’t give an ever-livin’ fuck if anyone thinks my writing is AI or not. Except I use them “incorrectly” as I always use spaces. Also do not give a fuck as doing so makes the text more readable.
When you are a god, you care not for the opinions of mortals. Well, unless you’re a Greek god. Then you seem weirdly obsessed with what some piss-ant thinks. But other than that.
Whine Level 9
OUT: low-maintenance gf
IN: maintainable gf. TRL 9. easily transportable. rapidly deployable in austere environments.
— Cat (@CatOrman1) June 28, 2025
Safe operating temperature must be between -20°C to 50°C.
Pod-launched missiles.
120v/240v compatible.
Whininess module must be installed as I am a fan of whiny girls robots.
Anyone who tattoos the GF Mark 1 is blasted out the airlock.
Late Paul
Men, what can you never do with a woman friend no matter how close?
Violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle.
TSP
The other day, I saw a porn ad for the “tightest sorority pussy exposed.”
Which caused me to wonder, what is the verification and validation procedure for the tightest sorority pussy? What’s the confidence interval and sample size? Was the study preregistered? Also, a person can be in a sorority, but can a pussy?
I have questions.
Yourcraft, Not Mine
Everyone should have one real thing they stubbornly refuse to believe is real. For me it's "vibecamp".
— Noah Smith 🐇 (@Noahpinion) June 22, 2025
Minecraft.
Nope, not real.
POA
There should have been a Planet of the Apes movie called: Planet of the Apes: Descent into Bananarchy.
Who wouldn’t watch that?
Emp FL
As Emperor of Ohio, I will command a fleet of autonomous drones decorated in baroque style that hover ominously and mysteriously above the conquered lands of Indiana, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania https://t.co/ja9oV1bXCQ
— Noah Smith 🐇 (@Noahpinion) June 6, 2025
As emperor of Florida, I will field a fleet of alligator-toting drones that will swoop down when you offend me and allow Mr. Chompy and pals to rip your face off.
Do not trifle with Mr. Chompy.
Happens Dance
FBI discovers cache of guns, armor and Nazi paraphernalia while raiding home in Washington state.
Florida version of this headline and a bit of the first part of the story:
“FBI mystified not to discover cache of guns, armor and Nazi paraphernalia after raiding Florida home.”
FBI Agent Dean Waterson said he was taken aback by the lack of dangerous, illegal or offensive items in the Ocala home. “In all my years of being a field agent, I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said, citing his 20 years of experience. “These Florida places always have poorly-secured caches of guns, double lightning bolts painted on the walls and usually some meth strewn around here and there. This home had nothing like that. We’re still trying to understand it.”
Experts contacted by the Post said this might be a first-of-its-kind event….
Arror
I know I often sound and come across as arrogant.
That’s because I am.
Demonstrative
Yesterday, I summoned a demon. I needed it to do my bidding.
It heard my request and then said, “This meeting could’ve been an email” and poofed away back to the nether world.
Well damn.
Sure Secure
Does your Security team just dump vulnerabilities on you to fix asap?
They sure do. I hate that fucker! Always being such a hardass. Never just letting things slide, always hassling me about issues and vulnerabilities.
Oh wait…that fucker is me. I am the security team. I am not exaggerating, by the way.
La sécurité, c’est moi.
Meant Pay
Hey, Qatar, I’ll accept a free 747 if you want to give me one. I’ll fix your computers and such.
It’s not bribery if it’s payment, right?
Skyn In the Game
is making noises while kissing weird?
Not at all. Most people sing “Freebird” while kissing. Some change it up by humming the theme song from Friends.
It’s really up to you.