So little that men or women do that is intended to be sexy actually achieves that aim. In our current culture, both genders view sexiness as something imposed or even inflicted on you, rather than something created with a shared experience in mind.

Sexiness as a consumption item, then, almost never works. A force-fed meal is not enjoyable, and by the same token neither is OnlyFans-style compensation-based generic libido on demand. Stasi vs. McDonald’s is not much of a basis for a cultural erotic imagination.

Real sexiness requires centering the other person and their awareness, their desire, and not conceiving of yourself nor them as a consumption unit or subscriber. It is not about impressing them, but rather asking together, “What kind of encounter am I making possible?” Since Gen Z is incapable of this kind of thought at all, they are hopelessly lost, with no chance at all of a revival of the concupiscent.

Which is sad. However, without a focus on the shared experience and willingness to yourself be changed by the response, even in private life “sexiness” just becomes another mode of stale content production aimed at a partner for which you are just as interchangeable as the next OnlyFans model on their phone screen.