Upstream Color is the worst film I’ve seen in the past few years.

I watched it over a year ago now and it stuck with me like a case of antibiotic-resistant staph.

All style and no substance, all gimcrackery and hackery with so much pretension that it even appeals to people who apparently don’t even like movies.

The first 10 minutes are actually pretty decent. It had the base of a good story, perhaps.

But then it went oh so very wrong.

It’s probably not the worst film I’ve ever seen – I’ve seen thousands of movies – but it’s certainly in the top 20 or 30 or so.